As they say weddings in India are a very grand affair. Pegged at Rs. 50,000 crores, this industry is growing at a robust 25% . . . . . . Business worth crores of rupees is done daily during the peak season. But this is an entirely different story and m not here to discuss about all the economics involved in BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDINGS. . . . .
Recently a cousin of mine (from my paternal side family) got married, and as always it was the usual sumptuous affair of pomp and show. Functions for a whole week, some 3-4 sleepless nights, hoo-halla and not to forget all the distant relatives gathering (whom one only sees during such functions). . . . . .
Now all these DOOR DARAZ KE RISHTEDAR- DDRs (distant relatives) have a lot of things in common, especially when it comes to the topics about which they talk to you. . . . . . As soon as you’ll greet them (not to mention after a brief intro by either your parents or someone else), you are bombarded by cruise missile of a comment – ARRE DEKHO ISE, KITNA BADA HO GAYA HAI (look at him how big you have grown). . . . Really! I didn’t know that. For all this time I used to think with the passage of time I am getting shrunk. . . . . . And then there’ll be an open fire of usual stuff ques. – kitne saal ka ho gaya?, kya kar raha hai?, kaunsa college?, aage kya karma hai? (How old are you?, what are you doing?, which college?, what are your future plans?) And bla-bla. . . . . . Once through with the CIA level interrogation, another stealth bomber comment – AGLA NO. TO TERA HI HAI (you are the next!). . . . Oh my God! As if this is some kinda lolly pop distribution ceremony and you are the next one to receive. And now they’ll tell you – CHINTA MAT KAR, AISI DHOONDH KAR LAUNGA/LAUNGI TERE LIYE (don’t worry I’ll search the best for you). . . . . .
Oh please m not even bothered about this subject, but to your dismay and their delight, you can’t even blurb a single word. . . . Just be a good listener and keep smiling. . . . . Done with one DDR and the next is waiting for you just round the corner with his/her ammunition ready and not to forget the cruise and the stealth bomber. . . .WAHI PURANI NAYI KAHANI (it’s the same old story).
GIVE ME A BREAK. . . . .
The funniest part is that their degree of concern about your marriage is inversely proportional to the closeness of their relation i.e. the more distant they are in relation, the more they are concerned. . . . . . . They are not bothered about your health, your education, your career. Its just about your matrimonial future (at least they sounds like that only).
Strange isn’t it? But this is how marriages go. People looking for would be brides and grooms. Cool hai. . . . . . . Next week another cousin of mine is getting married (this time from the maternal side family), so a whole new lot of DDRs over concerned about matrimonial future. . . . . . . YEH BHI LIFE HAI AUR YEH BHI ITNI STRAIGHT NAHI HAI. . . . . . Toldya LIFE AINT THAT STRAIGHT!