I am always excited about the comments and feedbacks about my post. Every time I write a new one, for the first 3 days [opening weekend] I keenly anticipate special remarks, comments or criticism [you know something like my phone ringing non stop; people congratulating me on the post; site’s server getting down due to heavy traffic, people killing to read the new post and stuff like that]. But [to my dismay and God knows whose delight] it never happen.
After the dull opening weekend, expectations become more realistic and then I just drop in 4-5 times a day to check if there are any comments awaiting moderation [well yes; all the comments need my approval before appearing so that I can filter out the bad ones]. When the collections of the first week turn out to be low as well, I start losing patience. By the time the weekend approaches again I become restless and start asking people directly about my latest post. So I asked the same thing as well about my last post ‘Aur Suna’.
Most of the people I ask this question have the same answers every time, it was good [achi thi]; interesting read etc. but then there are few; very few who provide me with an honest feedback and I got one for the last post. When asked, my friend said ‘yaar tu likhne ke liye likhta hai. Koi sense nahi banti’ [dude you write for the sake of writing. It doesn’t make much sense]. Very bluntly put!
To be honest, yes I did felt bad about the frank yet true feedback. And thought lets stop writing for the sake of writing. I won’t do it unless I have a topic to do so, something concrete to write. So I started thinking and pondering upon the older posts. Read stuff online especially blogs and see them from the sense perspective. I realized very few made sense. But they are an interesting read. You enjoy reading them. Blogs are not meant to make sense. They are for expression. Newspapers, journals are supposed to make sense which they seldom do, then why should I be bothered if my blog make sense or not. I write blog because I want to write it not because it should be making sense.
So after this long break [more then 10 days to my last post] of introspection am back in writing business with this post, which have not made any sense yet. But then it is not supposed to make sense either and if you are actually expecting sense here [especially in the category ‘Ephemera’] then you are at the wrong place. Can’t really help it!